This is a report on the November 2001 retreat: Reinventing Ourselves which was facilitated by Michael Picucci, PhD, MAC & Elias Guerrero, M.D., MPA.

written by: Matthew Whaley

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Early November marked a new retreat presented by The Institute for Staged Recovery and cosponsored by its sister organization The Institute for Authentic Process Healing where fifty participants gathered at Veritas Villa in Kerhonkson, NY to explore the process of Reinventing Ourselves. The event itself manifested a reinvention of sorts, as the Institute unveiled a new format for it's educational and healing offerings as well as new language with which to describe and understand them. This is the first of 9 retreats that will be offered sequentially over the next 3 years as the Institute's Life Mastery Community Series. Speaking in terms of "reinvention", the "field of possibility", "subtle energy shifts", "invisible realities", "resource energies", and "soul's desires" infused everyone with a sense of hope and connection to their larger selves. As Michael Picucci explained, the 12 stations of complete recovery work outlined in The Journey Toward Complete Recovery are still foundational, but they will produce greater results when experienced from a "subtle energy" perspective rather than from a strictly emotional one.

 

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Michael and Elias Guerrero created a context for "invisible realities" by drawing from recent advances in quantum mechanics and pointing out that all that we believe to be physical reality is in fact 99.99% empty space. Our freedom is to be found in connecting to our memory of the invisible rather than limiting ourselves to physical realities that keep us tied to conditional existence. For many, our lives and stories have been shaped by the universal human condition of trauma. The retreat defined trauma as any experience in which one's soul or spirit gets crushed. When the first-line responses of flight or fight are blocked, the only alternatives are contractions of the spirit registering in the nervous system as frozen pockets of energy.

These personal little icebergs become barriers to reinvention as we seek to:

1. avoid new experiences which involve risk and possibly resulting in similar bad feelings, or
2. re-enacting old experiences in an unconscious attempt to resolve them. In the work of re-invention, growth flows more gracefully from the thawing of these frozen energies rather than just the generation of greater awareness that may not always result in personal change.

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Through personal stories, David Shaw and Ana Venezia made powerful contributions to the weekend. David richly illustrated how we use dissociation, a psychological mechanism, to separate from our unconscious fears and frozen zones. Many create an illusion of self-sufficiency to cover the terror of having our needs and vulnerabilities exposed (for example, a universal experience is that many of our "frozen patches" of energy stem from unmet childhood needs). We may confuse our behaviors with our identity, using repetitive reenactments to label ourselves "unlovable" or "loser" and denying our needs by naming it "dependent". Community can become "the missing piece" which can allow us to convert this illusionary "badge of honor" of lonely independence to an experience of a larger human and cosmic connection. Additionally, using gentleness and humor with oneself thus can become a way out of shame, dissociation and frozen inner patches through acceptance of the shadowy areas and historic wounds. Ana deeply moved the participants with her vulnerable example from her illness in shedding independence to embracing community for support and strength. Healing through Authentic Process Healing has impacted her spirit and all those she has touched and is carrying her through her current struggles with cancer.

Bethe Hagens and Jane Hart brought creative expressions to the weekend, allowing each person practical expressions of their own experience. Using keyboards and violin, Bethe played some of her own musical creations as she folded in stories of personal reinvention. Several participants took risks to join her in soulful expressions of music and dance.

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Michael built on Bethe's work to help everyone find both the strength and vulnerability in their bodies through movement. To anchor the weekend, Jane facilitated an art process to name and validate weekend learning for real world integration.

Michael and Elias drove home the importance of "grounding" and "resource energies." We have many earlier experiences that can serve as resource energies for reinvention. When we acknowledge that these invisible realities and energies are just as real (perhaps even more real) than the physical circumstances we experience, we are thus able to access more freedom of movement. As we use this energy our souls come more alive and are expressed, which may shake up the social conditioning in our immediate worlds. This will necessitate embracing our "adolescent awkwardness" in order to grace the process of allowing our souls to "come out" to the world. Through exercises, participants were able to begin an inquiry into the unique desires of their soul and to begin naming and claiming their own personal "resource energies." Elias charged everyone to draw upon the innate courage within and to revive a sense of childhood wonder that is the source of creativity. Michael reminded everyone that we need to attract to ourselves the resource of others who will support us and to look for "the diamonds in our backyard" because that is where they are. When we discover these gems it feels like a wink from the universe that our destiny is on track.

Response to the retreat is beginning to come into the Discussion Board on the Institute for Authentic Process Healing website. The experience shared by Marjie captures the essence and intent of the retreat and all that the Institute offers: "I'm noticing that I'm being a lot kinder to myself about how I feel. The biggest gift I took from the weekend was the experience of how strong and real the kindness there was - and an inner knowing that relating to myself with that kind of energy is what can create the space for healing to come in. That's really different than "trying" to heal or make things "better." Many are already looking forward to the next retreat in March, not only to work on Healing and Transforming Sex, Spirit & Intimacy, but also to experience and integrate more of the love and kindness which only community can foster.

See More Photos from the Retreat Here.

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